"It is human to lament, human to weep w/ one who weeps..."

My parents are home. It's werid - both good and bad weird - having them home. I was very uncomfortable w/ the idea of them being here a day early. Especially since I was hosting BS tonight. And they managed to show up 15 mins before study and about 5 mins before people started to arrive. I just don't feel like this is my home anymore, and it isn't. I'm sleeping and living in the room my sister called hers. 75% of my "stuff" is in boxes in the garage so I don't even get to have much of my own things up and around me. I did get to hang some wall art to make the place more mine. The biggest things are I don't have my books out on shelves and my entertainment center isn't all together. Granted, my parents have a nice TV, DVD and home theater setup in the basement. It just makes it hard to host people w/ your parents in the basement, watching TV and the noise winding its way up the stairs. Moreover, it just feels like I'm intruding in their space. I've had this problem since college. I think most people do. And of course it only got worse when I had my own apt for a year and then moved away for 3 yrs. I just want to be out on my own for a while. The other side of this all is that I at least have a nice place to live and I don't have to worry abou rent and things. I do pitch out w/ chores around the house. And I manage to get a decent meal at least once a day. Bacheloring it was nice but man does my wallet feel a bit empty after the times I ate out or picked up lunch/dinner.

For some reason, I have it in my head that having a g/f would change this. Not sure how. I know I would feel way uncomfortable inviting her over her to hang out. Not much room, emotionally as well as physically. But the upside of being in a relationship is that that relationship could create a new "home" of sorts. Don't get me wrong. I love my family. Somedays I want to strangle them , but I don't stop loving them! But I want to escape them also. I think it would be great to start new traditions with another person. This is especially obvious around the holidays. I've never really considered myself much of an adventurer but some of my family see me that way. Maybe that is why I want to move to Boston so bad. Is it mere escapism though? I'm starting to become attached to the people here, but I feel like I've been back in Omaha long enough. The world is bigger than Omaha.

FYI: I did get my Norwegian sweater and man does it look great on me. I have the Scandanavian look, so that helps some! I plan to wear it to work, tmw morning but there is no way I'll be delivering papers in that sweater!

A few people were admiring my chess set. I set it up in the living room months ago. It was one of the few major buys I made while in Turkey and Greece. Molly commented that she had no idea I had gone to Istanbul (I bought this great onyx chess set from the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul and I even battered w/ the guy for a better price). I just have to say, it was an amazing experience. It seems surreal that it was 11 months ago when I was there. It seems like forever. I was going to Turkey and Greece for a J-Term class at Seminary, called "In the Footsteps of Paul and Revelations." We visited a variety of Biblical sites in the two countries including Ephesus, Corinth and Philippi. Not to mention some non-Biblical sites like Troy (of the Trojan War and The Iliad), Mycenea and Athens! I have mixed feelings about the whole trip. It was such an amazing opportunity but my ex-girlfriend was there and things were not "kosher" between us. And I have a hard time letting go, so I was distracted. Not to say, I didn't get something fom the experience. If you can, go to Turkey. The people are so amazing. You learn a whole new side to the word "hospitality." Even Henri Nouwen would be impressed. It was overcast, rainy, and snowy while there so that may have clouded my opinions of the natural landscape. But I loved Greece. I can't wait to go back. Cas, if you can, go! The natural beauty of the land was breathtaking. I don't think you truly know what the color blue is until you've seen the sky over the Olympic mountains. Athens was nice, but I could avoid that city again. Except, I loved their public transportation. It was amazing to watch the Olympics this summer and have a good idea of where things were happening. It was like "I've been there!"

After the 2 week class was over, I flew to Crete to visit some NK sites. What an experience that was. I'm using some pictures from my trip as backgrounds on my new laptop. I may put some up. My profile pic is from Delphi where I found that almond tree.

I guess this unexpected tangent just further empasizes my "adventuring" side and how I am in search of a home. In search of someone to love and to be loved in return. And now I am quoting Moulin Rouge. Although, come to think of it, it is a bit of a paraphrase of St Francis. Hmph!

BS was okay tonight, but once again I get frustrated and how immaleable (sp?) some of the people are. I want to push and delve deeper w/ the questions. Sometimes I know how to do that but oftentimes I'm clueless. I ask questions not knowing where I am going, nor having a firm answer to my own question. Today I was frustrated by how easily we focused on the issue of the rich and wealthy (James 2:1-13) and completely ignored the issue of poverty in America. But there really wasn't much I could say that I felt I could convince them about. But perhaps I was judging too hasitly. Molly reminded me that you can't always push people to go a certain way. And that is so true. Sometimes people have to discover things for themselves. Still not sure how to relate and interact w/ Heather. Evidently she wasn't on a date Friday night, even though this guy seems to like her. As Laurie said, at least I'm not the only one. But still... it was unsettling. Next week we're doing a pre-Turkey Day meal. I'm doing mashed potatoes. We are encouraged to bring some games to play. I plan to get out my Friends trivia game, since I've never gotten to play it. I should find my Six Degress of Kevin Bacon game too!

I think I should be signing off now. I still am thinking about what is "love." Keeping you all hanging. :) In the meantime, keep reading SK!