"faith without works..."

I'm rather tired tonight, so I won't blog for long at all. There are so many thoughts swimming in my head about tonight's BS from James. And I don't want to short shrift any of those thoughts. I want to re-read some things from SK as he has some great things to say about faith. I will say that I'm becoming rundown again, and I don't know what is happening to me. Going to BS is a mixed blessing each week. I just don't know what to make of it all. Not only am I confused about what I am hearing others say and argue, but I am also confused about what I am saying and arguing. Am I making a difference? Do my words constitute and action and where is the faith in that?

I've got another full day of work ahead of me. More "interviews" for open routes. And I would like to get to Old Navy to have that security tag removed from my new jeans. Alison called, and it was nice chatting w/ her briefly tonight. Sarah claims it is the season - which is trite - but I am feeling awfully alone right now. And even as I say that, I am annoyed because I've noticed the last few blog entries have been more a complaint about my life than an affirmation about life. What kind of message is that? Or perhaps a better question to ask myself is why I feel like something is missing? What is missing and how can I go about getting it back? Mel likes to end her emails w/ a Thurman quote. And I keep pondering it, asking myself what makes me alive. And I'm scared by the lack of an answer. However, after watching Joan of Arcadia I am reminded of the mystery of God. Even the absurdity of it all. That is the kernel of my thoughts but there is so much more to reflect upon tonight's study.

Tomorrow my dead Shakespeare, tomorrow.